Sunday Morning 6:30 am

I am sitting outside on my patio. It's a quiet morning and nice to be alone, although I am alone quite a bit and I treasure the solitude, but yet consider myself a people person. I have one of my two dogs with me, usually I always have two but one is having some health problems that will be tended to on Monday.

It's church day, and I really don't feel like going. Two reasons. One is they are talking about money and giving. We go to church and Bible Study so we get it for two hours, and a friend that wants me to hang out with her grandchildren this week. I need to stop being a fuddy duddy and just do it, although everything says no.

My grandson was over yesterday with Mom and Dad. He is such a joy. It is fun being a grandparent.

I'm reading a book on shame right now. It's rather interesting.  We all have shame in our lives and it does tend to take over our lives, until we share our shame. It's that simple. Now you do need to be careful who you first share your shame with...it needs to be a close friend and one who will embrace the shame with you, not feel for you, not to be shocked or disgusted. It's very freeing.

This author also said that shame and love are opposites. I'm still going through this chapter, (I'm a very slow reader) people seem to shy away from both, and after thinking about it, I guess she is right. Love is deep, shame is deep. Love can be hard to confront and shame can be hard to confront. Love hard to share, etc.  There are a lot of characters the two share.  Something to think about.  Brene' Brown is the author.

I'm outside, as I said and three times now the dogs have barked!!  They never bark in the mornings,, maybe it's because I'm outside and they are now in?  Sheesh!! I may have dog meat for breakfast.

What a beautiful time of year this is!!  Yes, I am in the south and everything is blooming and green. Best time of year we have, I hope we have it for another month anyway.

Going to look for a vacation spot now. I always do this but we seldom go anywhere. And not that that is bad, we just don't. Home bodies, but someone said the other day and this is true, since I have married a work-a-holic maybe I need to take him away.  This is my goal. :) And it won't be on a boat, lol. Love water but have NO desire to ever go on a cruise, unless my husband really, really wanted to go, then I would go.

Sometimes, you just want to send something out into the abiss. Sure people can comment about mistakes, wording, spelling, but what difference does it make, out here we are untouchable. It's rather nice. You age need not be known, nor your sex (although it will most likely come out, for me anyway).

I wonder how long until the end. I wonder just when Christ is coming back. So many bad things are happening, but then again I think of the Holocaust and I'm sure they thought this was the end, this era just fascinates me, I want to visit our museum again, I may just go alone. 

So hard to fit in at church, we go, we sit and smile, talk to strangers and go home. We have been to activities and they are fun. We smile talk and go home. What is lacking?? Maybe it's just me. The people are very nice, just no connection. Our church is sooooo big. At times I wish we were in a smaller one, but then you can feel suffocated by everyone knowing everything?  lol...I do have issues right?

Off to get my day started.